A place to contemplate…

‘Twas the night of the first day of the new year, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…

I submerged myself in water today that caused my breath to catch. I was not prepared for how it would feel. I was expecting horrifying cold that would swear me off of anything remotely close to that temperature. Yet, I found myself being drawn in to the temperature, to the surreal sensation it created. I knew I was in ice cold water. My toes and thighs were numb and my brain was saying, “Don’t stay long”. My soul needed to be in that water today. My soul needed to feel that moment of everything stopping in my body for a second. Not being able to breathe. Not being able to move fast enough. For a split second, I was frozen in all manners. Then the air flowed in my lungs. The blood rushed through my veins. My arms and legs started moving again. I chickened out going fully under. I walked back up to the shore, shocked that I was not shaking with cold, but rather felt warm, and exhilarated. I wanted to go back in. I did. I waited a moment to catch my breath again. I looked at how clear the water was in the winter compared to how murky it can be in the summer. I held my nose and under I went. I did it. I did something I never thought I would do. I smiled, proud of myself. I took a leap of faith, and I feel liberated. 

For so long, I have hid behind a plethora of excuses as to why I cannot do things. I have wanted to do so many things, yet have always let the fear of failure get the better of me. The fear of looking a fool, of being laughed at, far outweighed the potential to feel unadulterated fun. The kind that elevates you to a level of memorable giddiness you never forget. It is engrained in the very fiber that make up your existence. It makes me sad to know how much I have missed out on. It is time for me to take back that which I deserve.

Onwards and upwards to more fun and adventure.